Planning A Bridal Shower? Your Ultimate Guide To Bridal Shower Etiquette
Whether you’re getting married or one of your besties is, one of the most exciting events of wedding season is the bridal shower. It’s a time to celebrate the bride, shower her with gifts (like that wedding jewelry she’s been eyeing!), trade advice, and relish in the joy of the moment.
But where does the tradition come from, and how do you plan a wedding shower? We’ve done the research and put together this bridal shower etiquette guide! Whether you’re hosting or simply attending, and whether you’re planning a more traditional or modern affair, we’ll help answer those bridal shower questions.
Who plans the wedding shower, what do you wear, and do you need a gift for the bride? Read on to find it, plus more!
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Put simply, a bridal shower is a pre-wedding celebration, held specifically to celebrate the bride-to-be. It’s usually attended by the bride’s closest female friends and family, however there of course aren’t any rules for who’s invited. The main thing is that they are close enough to the bride to share in any pre-wedding games, funny stories, or sentimental moments!
While there are some general norms that you can expect from a bridal shower, the reality is that there are no rules when it comes to planning this celebration. After all, every bride-to-be is different, and it’s all about making her feel extra special!
FUN FACT: The origin of the bridal shower dates back to 16th-century Holland, when a young girl’s father refused to provide a dowry for a marriage he disapproved of.
Holding a bridal shower is incredibly popular in this day and age, but the history of this wedding event goes back centuries! As mentioned in the fun fact above, these celebrations find their origins in Holland in the 1500s. Gaining popularity as a substitute to the dowry system, friends and family of a bride-to-be would present her with small gifts to help her begin her married life. This was seen as support for brides, especially if her family could not afford a dowry or didn’t support the union!
Thankfully, the necessity of a bridal shower in a woman’s life has shifted. Over time, the bridal shower became more of a social gathering for women to share stories and advice for brides-to-be. And it’s this tradition of gathering in the months before a wedding to celebrate and support a bride that become the bridal shower we know today!
As times have become more modern, so have bridal showers. Keep reading to learn more about the general norms you can expect these days, and advice for planning a bridal shower yourself.
FUN FACT: In celebration of the bride-to-be, guests would drop small gifts into a parasol. Then, the bride would open the parasol, and be “showered” with gifts!
So, there’s a wedding coming up, and it’s time to organize a bridal shower. But first, there are so many questions to be answered! From who’s in charge of hosting, to when to throw the bash, here are some key details that can get you started.
Typically, the bridal shower is organized by the maid of honor. But don’t worry if this is you, it’s not all on your shoulders! It’s normal for the bridesmaids and the bride’s mom or sisters to help, too. But, like organizing any event, having one person take the lead can make the whole process super smoothly!
Often the maid of honor will host at her home, too, but this is merely a suggestion. When it comes down to it, it’s a group effort of the bride’s closest friends and (usually) female family that makes the event happen!
While, just like hosting, the maid of honor would traditionally be up for the cost, these days it’s usually a shared expense. While some people—like the bridesmaids or the bride’s mom—may chip in a bit more, it’s not unusual for everyone in attendance to contribute to the celebration.
This money can then be used for any costs incurred, such as the venue, food and drinks, or decorations. And remember—it doesn’t need to be expensive! The bride-to-be will mainly be so appreciative of the thought and care put into planning.
FACT: Bridal showers were borne of a time when gender roles were very strict. These days, there are no rules!
If you’re wondering when to throw the bridal shower, the good news is that there is flexibility. While you should be looking at holding it in the few months prior to the wedding, there is no strict timing to when exactly. Usually, a bridal shower will be held on the weekend. And because it’s generally not a wild celebration, they’re often held at morning tea or lunch time.
If you’re starting to plan a bridal shower, the best approach is to ask the bride for a list of dates that could work for her, and then cross-reference it with her family and bridal party. After all, the more of her dearest people are in attendance, the better!
As the name suggests, a bridal shower is often about gifting the bride-to-be. Traditionally, these gifts included home supplies, such as appliances or tools, to set her up for her new married life. These days, however, many brides are already living with their fiances. This makes gift-giving much more flexible!
Bridal shower gifts can range from small, sentimental gifts like photo albums, to generous donations to a honeymoon fund. You could even decide to help the bride out with wedding planning, like finding a Los Angeles wedding videographer for her destination wedding!
However, a timeless gift for a bridal shower will always be jewelry. Whether it’s a special piece to wear on her wedding day, like bridal earrings, or something playful to cherish her bridesmaids by, jewelry is a most generous gift. And it may even become an heirloom for her new family!
When it comes to thoughtful bridal shower gifts, you can’t go past pearls. And for the ultimate bespoke pre-wedding present, consider the charm of personalized jewelry!
From pearl necklaces with custom charms, to a sentimental Build-A-Pearl necklace, The Pearl Source is your bridal shower gift destination. It’s a one-of-a-kind gift that she’ll keep forever!
Okay, so you understand the history and modern etiquette of a bridal shower, but now it’s time to plan one! Whether you’re the maid of honor, the mother of the bride, or even the bride herself doing some research, these are some of the factors to consider when party planning.
Once you’ve settled on a date to throw your bridal shower, it’s time to choose where it will be. Or, if it’s an exclusive venue that tends to book out in advance, their availability may be your deciding factor! Either way, choosing a venue is a big part of setting the vibe.
Consider how many guests there will be, if there’s a theme, and the season. These will all help you narrow down the perfect location. Some popular bridal shower venues include the home of the maid of honor, a winery, or a botanical garden. But, the options don’t stop there! From a boat to a spa day, a bridal shower can be held anywhere the will help you create a fun, special atmosphere.
How many people you invite, and who exactly, will differ between bridal showers. In general, only the bride’s closest friends and family members are invited, as the goal is to create an intimate and sometimes silly atmosphere! As well as close friends, her mom, and sisters, these can include aunts, cousins, childhood friends, or her fiance’s family members.
While bridal showers are traditionally a womens-only affair, these days it’s increasingly common for everyone to be invited. In fact, some people opt for a wedding shower, which is a shower held for both soon-to-be-weds!
The average number of invitees is 30, so this is a good guide for creating the balance between it feeling like a true party, and being small enough to share sentimental moments. However, you can invite as many or as few guests as feels right.
And when in doubt, ask the bride! While some people will plan a surprise bridal shower, it’s not uncommon for the bride to at least advise on the guest list. This way, she can mention any friends, coworkers, or family members that she’d like to attend who you may not have considered.
From decor to activities, setting a theme for the bridal shower can help you plan a memorable affair. And with so many themes to choose from, a great start is to consider the bride’s interests. Some common bridal shower themes include a pool party, a picnic luncheon, or a boozy brunch. And on top of that, consider decor themes like the Amalfi coast, Wild West, or tropical!
Once you’ve chosen a theme, consider how to incorporate it into the day’s activites. From a dress code, to decor, to the menu, don’t be afraid to get creative!
It’s typical for at least some food and drinks to be served at bridal shower, but the style and amount is up to you. From a morning tea party to a long ladies’ lunch, and from finger food to a feast, choose a cuisine and style of eating that matches the rest of your get-together.
And, to make the day feel extra-special, don’t forget the champagne (or alcohol-free version)! You’ll want to make a toast to the bride-to-be, and celebrate the start of her wedding season.
While each event is similar, there are some differences. A bridal shower and a wedding shower are the same general event, but a bridal shower is only for the bride and a wedding shower is for both people getting married.
A bachelorette party, also known as a hen’s, is more of a party. Instead of preparing the bride for her married life, it’s about letting her hair down and having fun. Often a bachelorette is smaller, wilder, and may not have as many family members!
Unless you’ve been given a specific theme, consider smart casual or garden party attire. A sundress, maxi skirt, or matching set is usually a great choice!
While the bridal shower absolutely can be a surprise, it doesn’t have to be. In fact, it can be nice to ask the bride for her preferred guest list, and give her a heads up that it’s happening so she can be prepared!
A great balance is to let the bride know some, but not all, of the details. That way she can get excited, but still be surprised about certain details of her celebration!
Usually the bridal shower is reserved only for gifting the bride, but it doesn’t mean that bridesmaids are left out of the lead up to the wedding. Often, a bride will gift her bridesmaids on the day before or the day of the wedding. This is usually something sweet and sentimental, like a gorgeous piece of bridesmaid jewelry.
Getting married is an exciting season in anyone’s life, and the lead up to the big day is full of moments to connect with loved ones. Throwing a bridal shower is your chance to show the bride-to-be how much you care, and share advice and well wishes for a happy future!
And when it comes to planning a bridal shower, don’t be afraid to add some personal flair. From choosing the right theme, to finding the perfect gift, there are so many options to make the day perfect. Now you know the etiquette and traditions of bridal showers, it’s time to get planning!
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Content Writer and Editor at The Pearl Source
Kate Muirhead is the editor and content writer for leading pearl retailer The Pearl Source. She believes in the power of signature jewelry, and that collecting it is half the fun.
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